I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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