these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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