Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
PANTIES FOUND
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
