You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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