I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
