I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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