maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
