So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
