Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
