EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
A bitchslap is in order.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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