Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize