It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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