I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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