Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
