? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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