I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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