Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize