hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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