Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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