what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
