he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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