I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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