don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
