is your mom at the bar?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
