We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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