that's an acceptable place to lick
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
