Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
