Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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