Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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