I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
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