they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
