Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
