Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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