she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
