well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
