That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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