so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
