The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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