I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
