whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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