not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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