hotel room ftw
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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