is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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