trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
