So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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