I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
