i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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