Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
