she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
