I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
