Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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