Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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