I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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