HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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