he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
