GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
