End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
