So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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