and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
