Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
