Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I could fuck to npr.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
