Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
