her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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