just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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