i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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